2024 Week 5
Power Rankings
NotGreatBob (NotGreatBob) [4-1]
Grrouchie's Ranking: 1
"The King of the league is putting a flag in all our asses and claiming victory after victory and high score after high score.
One might wonder, how Can I compete with NGB this year? The answer is simple; You Can't.
Maybe you can force his team to miss a flight and not make a game?
NGB currently has the #4 QB on the year.
The #7 and #8 RBs on the year
The #1, 4, 10 and 14 WRs on the year.
The #3 TE on the year
And the #3 player on IR.
Somehow we all allowed him to assemble a super team quietly and now NGB is making us all suffer.
Hot Damn"
Slattery's Ranking: 1
"Three straight weeks of 150+ points plus embarrassing one of the only undefeated teams in the league is one way to earn the #1 spot in the rankings. NotGreatBob is the hottest team in the league and shows no signs of slowing down. In fact, the only way you might beat NotGreatBob is by scoring 160+ points on them."
Delta Squad (OneTyrell) [5-0]
Grrouchie's Ranking: 2
"Being the only undefeated team, it is hard for me to rank them at #2 but I am.
The delta squad is getting punished for poor roster management in this ranking as they started Jordan Love instead of Kirk DaBomb Cousins. They started Doubs who was ruled out. This lead to a very mediocre 102 points on the week even though they secured a victory. They would have lost to 7 other teams this week, but luckily they got a good matchup which bailed them out."
Slattery's Ranking: 2
"Delta Squad, AKA the last undefeated team. While they got the win this week, it's hard to imagine OneTyrell being happy with their decision making and the impact it had on the team's output. Yes, they did score 10 points over expectation, but they also left an astronomical amount of points on the bench. Still, there is a very good chance this lowest point of the season for Delta Squad as they're getting multiple key players back from the bye."
Dirty Mike & The Boys (HartyPGA) [4-1]
Grrouchie's Ranking: 4
"I'm going to consider this revenge from the Fantasy Godz, Dirty Mike (with the 3rd highest score on the week) Lost to NGB by almost 20 points.
Yes, they were ranked #1 last week and dropped to 4th. This was not an easy decision, but I'm swayed by bribes (I'm not saying one happened; I'm just putting it out there for everyone).
If they would have started Lazer Mayfield, Darnell M$$ney and Tank Bigsby, they would have won this game.
Play your studs for crying out loud!!"
Slattery's Ranking: 3
"Dirty Mike's winning streak is over, but this loss has to sting hard simply because they could have won if a few different start/sit decisions were made. Losing Nico for the next 4 weeks will also sting, but Dirty Mike have more than enough playmakers to make up for the loss. In fact, this is just the type of loss that tends to motivate a team to go on a run, which is exactly what I expect from Dirty Mike and The Boys."
Michael Scott's Tots (BaileyOwen) [4-1]
Grrouchie's Ranking: 3
"Sitting at 4-1 and leaving a lot of points on the bench, the Taters are putting up a fight week in and week out as they continue to make a statement that they are a contender. Even with Josh Allen getting out performed by Geno Smith, Ekeler being better than Kamara and Pierce outperforming every WR on the starting roster, the Tots put up a dominant performance and secured the easy victory."
Slattery's Ranking: 5
"What surprises me the most is even though this team is 4-1, we have yet to see this team really fire on all cylinders. Even with big weeks from certain players pushing the team to a win, there always seems to be at least one or two duds on the starting roster every week. I'm really scared to see what Michael Scott's Tots can do if they figure out how to motivate all their players to show up at the same time."
scumdogs (grrouchie) [3-2]
Grrouchie's Ranking: 5
"The 4th highest scoring team on the week, the Scumdogs dropped nearly 135 points and couldn't crack the top 3, Crazy week. The Scumdogs are currently the 2nd highest scoring team for the year and for that it's hard to have them ranked at #5, but they also have 2 losses so it's hard to rank them ahead of teams with better records. But this past week was battle of the Commishes and the Scumdogs bloodied up the Fuzzies. Lamar Jackson is vying for League MVP, Swift looked like a trade bust and is now throwing down 20 point performances like he wants to be elite, and the Surprise #1 TE in the league Brock Bowers is just so much fun to watch.
Maybe next week the rankings will be more kind, or the Scumdogs will do what they always do and lose a game against a real opponent as they face the Undefeated Delta Squad!!!!"
Slattery's Ranking: 4
"Scumdogs at 4th even though they have a worse record than the Tater Tots? Why yes, this is a hill I'm willing to die on. This team is #2 in points for, just barely behind NotGreatBob and is the only team to score over 120 points every single week. The only reason they're not 4-1 or 5-0 is because they lost to another team's spike week. The Scumdogs have been consistently great even in their losses, and I don't see that stopping anytime soon."
PRESTIGE WORLDWIDE (lwinman) [3-2]
Grrouchie's Ranking: 6
"With a dominating win over Get Out, this Worldwide tour has moved to 3-2 and in the hunt still. Dak had a down game but it was still good enough for 20 points. Kyren fell into the endzone again to salvage his day. D.J. Moore pretended that Fields was throwing him the ball again and balled out for 25 points. And the Saints #1 WR Shaheed went for over 23 points again (but, next week he won't have his good buddy throwing him the ball).
Good win, now go figure out next week."
Slattery's Ranking: 6
"Another solid outing for Prestige Worldwide, and another tally for the win column. Things are really looking up for this team considering their RB acquisitions are balling out. Oh, and they might finally be getting the one and only Evan Engram back from injury very soon, which should make up for losing Rice for the season."
codycast (codycast) [2-3]
Grrouchie's Ranking: 7
"Ahh, remember the last two years when CodyCast was near the top of Points scored every single week and teams were afraid to play them? This game was a throw back as they dropped a 144 point bomb on the Shiva Blasts. Burrow started playing like Pre-Season is finally over, Wilson had 232 targets and with that much action he might actually score like he was supposed to when drafted. Higgins completed the Burrow stack for a Powerball win and it didn't matter that Deebo only scored 2 points because this team didn't need him.
BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE. Now, next week. Fluke or are they back?"
Slattery's Ranking: 7
"Codycast seems to have figure everything out after the slow start. The Burrow/Higgins stack is finally working out, Garrett Wilson had a breakout performance, and finally Christian Kirk, Michael Pittman, and Mark Andrews finally showed up to prove they can actually play football. Plus Codycast will be getting Gibbs back from bye at the nearly perfect time. "
ShivaBlasts (jwv7244) [2-3]
Grrouchie's Ranking: 8
"Shiva Blasts put up a good 100 points but came into this fight with a knife when their opponent was holding a nuke. Stroud, Henry and Sermon all had over 15 points. Akers, Walker and Worthy all had over 10 points. There were plenty of points to go around but Burrow and Higgins combined for over 70 points- 70% of the Shiva score.... They got RunDover"
Slattery's Ranking: 8
"This was a weird week for ShivaBlasts. Only a few players really disappointed/underperformed for this team, they only barely missed out on hitting their expected point totals for the week, and they were completely blown out by the second highest scoring team of the week (meaning there's not much jwv7244 could have done to prevent the loss), but this still feels like a disappointing outing for Shiva. I can't quite put my finger on why, though. Still, this is a solid roster and should have a chance to push for the 5th or 6th seed."
Fuzzy Logic (Slattery) [1-4]
Grrouchie's Ranking: 9
"Doesn't 9th place feel too generous? Fuzzy is grasping at straws and making business decisions benching Mahomes for Justin Fields (which, was the right move). The Fuzzy Dice have a talent problem this year which no one saw coming. Their RB core has been destroyed with the final nail going to Aaron Jones missing multiple weeks due to a bruised ego (The Scumdogs have his back up if you want to trade). Kelce and Hill have not been elite like past years and their one Bright Spot - Nabers - sat out with an owie inside his head.
His bell was run, his head felt fuzzy, his logic was broken. Better luck next year."
Slattery's Ranking: 9
"Fuzzy Logic is in a very weird spot. The on-the-field talent is there, players that were extremely disappointing to start the season are starting to show signs of life again, and they're starting to wise up on starting the right players (cough cough Mahomes). Unfortunately, it feels like a lost cause for this team to try to salvage the season as this team has a large lead in Points Against while also having a brutal schedule over the next few weeks."
ScotchnWhiskers (ScotchnWhiskers) [1-4]
Grrouchie's Ranking: 10
"Scotch is at 1 and Whiskers is at 4 and this team is doing a tailspin into oblivion. Caleb finally put up a good performance and showed why he was such a high draft pick, but Singletary decided to sit the game out at the last minute giving the team a big fat zero where points were needed. White hasn't looked as good as last year. Weebles Waddle but they don't score fantasy points. Who the heck is Mundt??? Metcalf? wasn't he a dominating force recently? and Wicks? Looking like Gabe Davis out there with random blow-up games from the bench and duds from the starting lineup. The sad part is this team can't look to the bench for better performances, they just got to get their ish together and start playing better."
Slattery's Ranking: 10
"This was an ugly loss for Scotchnwhiskers, but they were without arguably their two best players last week. I'm not willing to say the season is over for Scotchnwhiskers just yet as I want to see what happens when they get the Hurts/Brown stack back among other things, but it's hard to be optimistic."
Get Out (Pads) [1-4]
Grrouchie's Ranking: 11
"As Watson blows up the Get Out franchise from the inside with his horrible performances, Etienne is getting out played by the back up who is only getting a couple of touches, Cooper hasn't had a catchable ball thrown to him since Flacco went to Indy, Shenault isn't a startable guy but here he is in the starting lineup and Kincaid was supposed to be this years TE #1 (or 2 or 3) and is almost getting outplayed by Erick All (who also shouldn't be in a starting line up).
This team is in a world of Trouble this year."
Slattery's Ranking: 11
"Oof, another really bad week for Get Out, but maybe if we're lucky, it'll be the last week for this team to be down in the dumps. Getting Monty and Ridley back from bye should be great for this team, the Adams trade saga should be resolved soon, and Kupp and Tua should be coming back from injury here in a few weeks. There might be hope if this team can squeak a win or two over the next few weeks."
1-Putt Nine (GhostDad77) [0-5]
Grrouchie's Ranking: 12
"Listen, this is a Fantasy game played by a bunch of dudes guessing what is going to happen. When your starting QB (old ass Andy Dalton) gets yanked out of the game by real life NFL Coach who puts in last years #1 overall Draft mistake Bryce Young and then tells the media and the world that they took out Dalton because of offensive line injuries so that they could avoid him getting injured (HE IS NOT THE FUTURE OF THE FRANCHISE) this tells you 100% that everything was going to go wrong for the 1-Putters. My dear sir, you pissed in someone's Wheaties and paid the price in week 5."
Slattery's Ranking: 12
"Here's the thing - As crazy as it sounds, things are kind of looking up for 1-Putt right now. They may not be blowing up for fantasy, but there are some players on this roster that are looking really good on the football field on their limited opportunities. I'm calling it out, 1-Putt will probably get their first win in the next few weeks."
Editor's note: In the event that rankers' averages are the same between teams, the following tie breakers are used in the following order to determine position in the rankings: Win/Loss ratio, total points scored, total potential points, total points against