2023 Preseason Rankings
codycast (codycast) [0-0]
Grrouchie's Ranking: 3
"I absolutely hate ranking Codycast here because it's easily possible for him to screw around and win the whole damn thing. Last year Cody was out scoring people by a landslide until one day the points just shut off and he was watching from home like the rest of us losers.
Will this year be more magical for Cody or will his cast of misfits disappoint him again like a daughter dropping out of school because she can make more stripping?"
BaileyOwen's Ranking: 1
"Codycast must be allergic to draft picks because he can’t hold on to them for long. A team full of star-studded names that strike fear to anyone. Depth might be the only question mark for this team."
lwinmin's Ranking: 2
"The most complete team in the league. Their 4th best wide receiver would be a number of teams top wideout. They have a top tier QB and TE (Burrow and Andrews). The only weak spot could be the RB depth. Right now they are lead by Austin Ekeler and Miles Sanders. An injury to one could force them to get creative or make some moves, but for at least 1 more year Team codycast is the team to beat."
Fuzzy Logic (Slattery) [0-0]
Grrouchie's Ranking: 2
"Mahomes and Kelce form a dynamic duo like Batman and Robin. Last season was severely disappointing for Fuzzy but there is so much talent on this roster that I'm throwing them at number two.
Hill, Jacobs, Hockenson - up and down the roster there are verified studs and bonifide Gs. "
BaileyOwen's Ranking: 2
"Is there a scarier sight than seeing a Mahomes & Kelce stack? Fuzzy Logic is looking like one of the favorites this year, but how much longer can Fuzzy Logic hang around? Team full of big names but many of which are aging with DHop, Tyreek, Aaron Jones and Travis Kelce."
lwinmin's Ranking: 5
"All hail our commissioner. Maybe I should have given him the #1 spot so he could slip me an extra draft pick next year?? Either way this is a legit team. Or were they a legit team? There are some serious names. Travis Kelce, Deandre Hopkins, Aaron Jones, Tyreek Hill. Is it likely they are all healthy and still great or could one of these old geezers fall off this season? Why did my writing style become flooded with questions all of a sudden? We may never know, but what I do know is a healthy Mahomes, Tyreek, Josh Jacobs and Travis Kelce is going to be tough to lose with. The man is also stashing Justin Fields on his bench. Thank God we are not in a 2 QB league. "
NotGreatBob (NotGreatBob) [0-0]
Grrouchie's Ranking: 1
"Do you feel the Hype and Excitement as the Master Manipulator - The guy that convinced the Scumdogs to foolishly trade away Jamar Chase is on top of the rankings and why? Because he bloody damn well won the whole kit-n-kaboodle last year.
NGB has a rag-tag group of players and several players who might end up in the retirement home if they don't watch their step. However, The king is still the king until someone removes the crown from their head."
BaileyOwen's Ranking: 4
"It’s hard to dislike any team with Ja’Marr Chase on it. This looks like a solid receiving core with a mix of young (Chase, Olave) and old (Lockett, Evans, Allen) but we will have to see if any of the young RBs can hit. "
lwinmin's Ranking: 7
"Our league champ! Congrats Bob. I am rewarding you with a preseason rank of 7th best after proving yourself to be 1st best. I'm saying its a fluke. Mike Evans did the bulk of the work in the championship game. Derek Carr put up 8 points in the semi finals win. While Higbee exploded for 25. Meanwhile Codycast exploded for over 140 points as a team in the 3rd place match almost outscoring the 1st and 2nd place finishers combined. In all seriousness this isn't a horrible squad. Jamarr Chase and Chris Olave is probably the best dynasty WR duo a manager could hope for. The rest of the wideouts are solid vets. Allen, Evans, and Lockett. The QB, TE, and RB positions make me nervous though. Their could be some bright spots with Achane and Kendre Miller on the bench, but I see this squad fighting for a playoff spot this year and not much more."
Las Vegas Scumdogs (grrouchie) [0-0]
Grrouchie's Ranking: 4
"Vengeance will be had. People will pay a price. The Scumdogs are out for Blood this year but at the same time their coach is severely distracted and has been caught drinking heavily and crying like a little girl who lost her dolly incoherently mumbling "chase....chase....so stupid...gonna get fired...chase...."
BaileyOwen's Ranking: 3
"Justin Jefferson will make any team look better. Grrouchie will be looking for his big names to carry the team this year. Hoping that Breece Hall can return to normal and bolster this team."
lwinmin's Ranking: 6
"Humpty Dumpty formerly known as Scumdogs is sitting pretty at number 5, but I won't lie the first 5 teams are all a step or 2 above the next few. Humpty leads the pack of a new tier, but not by much. The big reasons are Lamar Jackson and Justin Jefferson. I expect Lamar to have an F-U season and Justin Jefferson lets his football speak for himself. However, a blow to either player could lead to Humpty's men trying to put him back together for next season. "
Delta Squad (OneTyrell) [0-0]
Grrouchie's Ranking: 5
"Call this one a homer pick if you want but the Delta Squad is taking the 5th spot in this pristine rankings because I'm jealous of some of the pieces on that roster. First and Foremost is the SunGod and, if memory serves me, the Delta Squad coach has turned down many offers for this guy.
Please - Trade the SunGod to the Scumdogs - they really really really really want him and will throw more offers your way until week 3"
BaileyOwen's Ranking: 9
"This squad has a fairly deep and exciting RB room with Najee, Pollard, Barkley with the hope of Kyle Pitts at TE. Unfortunately Amon Ra, Brandin Cooks, and the ghost of Adam Thielen headline the receiving group."
lwinmin's Ranking: 3
"Delta Squad finished at 6-8 and in 9th place last season, but this year may be different. Tony Pollard has the dallas backfield to himself. Amon Ra talks like he is ready to take another step forward. James Cook seems to be a favorite of many fantasy experts. We all know Kyle Pitts has the ability to be the #1 TE. Najee and Saquon could be a scary duo week in and week out. With Zeke and Eli Mitchell on the bench Delta has a couple nice lottery tickets. I really believe this squad has some serious upside with enough depth to be a serious contender. Now if we can just get him to respond to some trade offers in the off season.. jk we love you. "
Michael Scott's Tots (BaileyOwen) [0-0]
Grrouchie's Ranking: 7
"It feels wrong having this French Fry alternative ranked so far down with a roster full of so much talent. Just looking at this roster, if healthy, I could make an argument for them being ranked number one. However - Javonte, even though he is trying to prove he is the next mutant recovery beast like AP was and the wonderchild JSN starting out this year questionable is what is holding down the Tots. I love this roster from starters to backups. On the bench is Akers, Kamara, Thomas and a Mingo ate his Dingo. This team could Explode"
BaileyOwen's Ranking: 6
"Josh Allen and a bunch of young WRs. Hopefully a few of them can have breakout seasons this year so Scott’s Tots can finally leave the rebuilding behind. Maybe the additions of Javonte and Kamara will bolster the squad."
lwinmin's Ranking: 4
"Scott's Tots may be either the end of a tier or the beginning of a new one. There are so many fringe players on this team. Either players who were supposed to be studs and have let down or guys who haven't had a shot, but are getting there opportunity this season. Khalil Herbert, Javonte, Kittle, Cam Akers, Pickens, and Aiyuk in my mind are all guys I could see in the top 12 at their position end of year or outside the top 40. Devonta Smith, Garrett Wilson, and Josh Allen should provide a high ceiling and high floor. The beauty of this team is that they may have reinforcements come mid-season. With Kamara serving his suspension and rookies Jonathan Mingo and Jaxon Smith-Njigba figuring out how to be pros I could see Scott's Tots becoming the team to beat once we learn who these 3 are."
Get Out (Pads) [0-0]
Grrouchie's Ranking: 12
"This ranking isn't about a lack of talent - This team has plenty. CMC, Kupp, Waddle, Etienne, Rhmondre...
This rank is purely because from basically week 1 to week 14 Pads was ranked the number 1 team last year and seemed poised for greatness.
How the mighty have fallen.
This ranking is a Challenge to Pads to not look back at last year as a failed expiriment and get all sad and depressed because you blew your shot like you were Tom Brady playing against Eli Manning in a Super Bowl.
Pads - prove me wrong and Venmo me $10 and after week 1 you will be ranked higher."
BaileyOwen's Ranking: 7
"CMC and the hope of Jahmyr Gibbs give Pads some exciting players to watch this year. The Tua & Waddle stack looks to rain terror on the league. Can Dalton Kincaid be a productive rookie TE or will this be another disappointment?"
lwinmin's Ranking: 1
"After a 4th place finish in the previous season Pads is ready to make a run for a title. The Tua Waddle stack is the backbone of this team. Another concussion to Tua could mean some sleepless nights for Pads. But right now Tua is healthy and we saw last year how good he was healthy and how good Waddle was with Tua. Christian Watson in year 2 is ready to explode and the draft pick of Jahmyr Gibbs really does make his starting lineup look deadly. Cooper Kupp, Travis Etienne, Christian McCaffrey, and Rhamondre Stevenson are all studs I didn't even mention. This team is absolutely loaded. "
PRESTIGE WORLDWIDE (lwinman) [0-0]
Grrouchie's Ranking: 8
"Call it the fallacy of youth or the bias of a guy that hates old guys. Prestige, on paper, has a shot to make some noise with his roster full of retirement home heroes who tell stories of their faded glory.
Is Dak Back or is the transition to Lance inevitable?
Is Mattison the real Deal? Can Cook grab hold of the lead spot or is he a few week rental? Ridley hasn't played in 13 years but he is betting on being great again. DJ Moore is a chronic underproducer, Evan Engram could have posted his best season ever an fall back to the disappointment that he has always ben. Mike Williams falls more violently than anyone I have ever watched and Jerry Jeudy can't stay healthy. Break out the Duct Tape and lets get this season started"
BaileyOwen's Ranking: 5
"This squad is full of upside that will explode if a few can hit at the same time. Deebo, Mike Williams, Raheem the Dream, Hollywood, and Jerry Jeudy all provide hope for a deep team looking to compete. Can Calvin Ridley return to WR1 territory?"
lwinmin's Ranking: 8
"Always in the middle of the pack. There isn't a player in the starting lineup that scares you, but there also isn't a player that makes you go YES they have to start so and so. The Running backs are interesting. Mattison, Mostert, Cook, and Swift. Mattison is the guy here, but ideally you don't want him as your #1. Mostert, Cook and Swift will all probably have some nice games but predicting them could be tough. I see this team fighting for a playoff spot, but if they want to make a true run for that championship they may have to mortgage part of their future. "
Dirty Mike & The Boys (HartyPGA) [0-0]
Grrouchie's Ranking: 6
"A lot of Potential but a lot of questions and this team needs to prove it. Danny Dimes, is he for real? Will he run for 800 yards again or was last year an anomaly? Does Nick Chubb have another run in him or will the tires fall off this year? JK? Two Legs or One Leg? Will the guy who only played 8 games Hold out for more money or will he man up and play a full season to prove what he is worth? Drake London, an elite WR on a team who throws less than any other team in the league... And Finally - The Man, the Myth the Beast reincarnated. The greatest RB to ever play the game before he has even taken a snap. BeastJan Robinson. Dirty Mike might have the most fun team to follow this year and I predict he is going to hit the playoffs running and try to re-create what NGB did last year."
BaileyOwen's Ranking: 8
"An exciting team that gets to add Bijan to the roster. Nick Chubb provides some big-name value, but this team is going to rely on its depth to battle throughout the season. Can Anthony Richardson be the newest mobile QB with a high floor and ceiling?"
lwinmin's Ranking: 11
"Dirty Mike is coming in at #11. Nick Chubb, JK Dobbins Bijan, and Drake London are the heart of this team. 2 Atlanta Falcons scares me. I realize there are some serious Falcon hypsters out there, but I'm not sure I am one of them. Bijan will be great and London clearly has talent. But the team just might suck and we have no idea how good Ridder is. Dirty Mike may be in a rebuild this season if the Falcons studs don't get off to a hot start. "
ScotchnWhiskers (mark2law) [0-0]
Grrouchie's Ranking: 11
"I can't explain it. Hurts, Henry, Metcalf, AJ Brown - that much talent and ranked at 11? Maybe I just don't like the team and I'm punishing them with this ranking? Maybe this league is full of sharp coaches and teams are so well balanced that someone has to take the fall in these completely unbiased rankings? Maybe I'm upset that he has a guy named Xazavian on his bench. Scotch, Drink heavily my dude and you might rise through the rankings."
BaileyOwen's Ranking: 10
"A team with some big names in Derrick Henry, AJ Brown, and DK Metcalf. Unfortunately there’s not much depth to go along with these studs. Hopefully Zay Flowers can be the #2 option in Baltimore. At least the Jalen Hurts & AJ Brown stack will be a fun one in fantasy this year. "
lwinmin's Ranking: 9
"Last year's runner up ScotchnWhiskers is sitting at 9. I know he won't be happy with this, but I'm just not happy with his RB depth. Henry is great and I don't expect him to drop off. The Hurts Brown stack should be amazing again. DK Metcalf is a guy any team would want. But after this we are relying on Clyde Edwards, Jaylen Warren, Zay Flowers, and Tyler Allgeier. Backups or even backups to the backup. I'm not confident in any of their roles even though I like Zay, Warren, and Allgeier. The beginning of the season may be rough having to lean on these guys too much."
ShivaBlasts (jwv7244) [0-0]
Grrouchie's Ranking: 9
"Shiva will improve a lot this year and Blast their way off the bottom of the list. Can Watson return to form? Walker, White, Lamb and Waller make up an amazing base for this roster. However - the tires get shaky after that. Lazard, Woods, McKinnon are a bit iffy and Addison still has to prove himself. However, this bench is loaded with guys that could prove themselves and make a leap and out of nowhere Shiva will be a team no one wants to face. Roschon, Stroud, Perry, and the Duece. "
BaileyOwen's Ranking: 11
"jwv might have followed Aaron Rodgers a little too closely and spent some time on a darkness retreat. A few young hopefuls in Rachaad White, Kenneth Walker, and Jordan Addison. Let’s see how far CeeDee Lamb can carry this team."
lwinmin's Ranking: 10
"Shiva Blasts could blast up the ranks in the coming weeks. I just don't know what to think of Rachaad White, Jordan Addison, Darren Waller, and Mckinnon. They are going to have roles, but to what extent and how good are they actually. Waller may be the one with the highest expectations, but he is getting up there in age. The most interesting player on this team is Deshaun Watson. Personally I think Watson is ready to get back into form and uhh.. blast? his way to the top of Shiva's QB depth chart? Idk I'm trying to make a happy ending joke."
1-Putt Nine (GhostDad77) [0-0]
Grrouchie's Ranking: 10
"1-Putt is full of Prove it players. Pacheco is the Ultimate guy who keeps on chugging but the lack of draft capital is scary. Can he do it again? Pierce has 18 other RBs on the roster looking for him to slip and take his job but is also on an NFL team who won't score much this year so his ceiling is capped. Gabe Davis blows up for 4 games a year and disappears for 12, Can he put together a full season on an explosive offense or is he forever ""Better in Best Ball?""
Up and down the roster there is talent with questions. This team has the true potential to ball out and win 12 games or everyone takes their turn going off but on different weeks and they never put the full effort together and they win 4 games. I'm rooking for Meyers, Jones, Moore and Samuel personally - but starting all of them feels dirty and risky."
BaileyOwen's Ranking: 12
"Justin Herbert and a team full of finger crosses. GhostDad might be looking forward to the 2024 draft. Hopefully Gabe can be The Babe this year"
lwinmin's Ranking: 12
"Someone has to be last and for me it is GhostDad's roster. Don't get me wrong. Herbert is nice. So are Pacheco, Pierce, Davis, Goedert, and Gainwell. These are all guys I like. They aren't guys I love however. Gainwell is in a nasty backfield. Pacheco is on a team built for Mahomes to spread the ball around. Goedert's team only has to play 2 quarters and Pierce is on the worst team in the NFL. I don't see much of a path to a championship for Putt Nine, but what I do know is the owner is a vet. He is going to make solid decisions, be active on the wire, in trades and is willing to get a little dirt to grab a W. I wouldn't be surprised if he climbs all the way up to that 11 spot by week 3."
Editor's note: In the event that rankers' averages are the same between teams, the following tie breakers are used in the following order to determine position in the rankings: Win/Loss ratio, total points scored, total potential points, total points against